Loving Darkness

This Easter weekend I attended a retreat. Valentina created a dark room with all light blocked out to meditate in darkness.

I was surprised about myself, that I was not scared of darkness and disorientation.

To the contrary, it felt like coming home. I felt a deep relaxation of nothingness.

Even with many other people in the room breathing, the only sensation was inside of me.

In the darkness I met a Lover. Accidentally touching fingers. Becoming aware of the other and that this lover only exists in the sensation received on my skin.

Tiny vibrations making up a body to explore and discover. There is only touch, the sound of breath and scents of the other.

And the Lover exits inside of me. The boundaries become fluent. Am I being discovered or am I discovering?

Sometimes a new person enters the room, or someone is leaving. A tiny bit of light enters the space.

Darkness is so vulnerable. 

We step apart and loosing touch not be seen together.

Must this creation of each other stay in the dark? I experience deep encounter in a fleeting fragile moment.

In the light I am bombarded with images and sensations. Its difficult to distinguish between reality and imagination. In the darkness it becomes clear: Everything is imagination.

Reflections on Easter

Last night I attended a beautiful autumn bliss dance ceremony.

The day was overcast and grey and I carried this mood into the space to share with the small group of dancers. We were feeling the autumn introspective and a deep sadness was welling up.

Memories of my mother and people I love, past and present made me tearful and soft. We gently held each other in deep love.

This morning I reflect on Easter while listening to some Christian chants. I feel into the deep compassion of God with his creatures. As a Tantrika this God is in me and I am like a holographic image and so is everything and everybody around me. We are all a fleeting manifestation of the vibrations of life.

Overflowing with compassion for life I feel into this day. We had glorious rain wetting the earth with the tears of the sky. This Good Friday with its soft dark mood is the low point of suffering of life.

The rain brings new life. In the northern hemisphere Easter after Good Friday is a festival of resurrection and new life in spring.

Here the rain brings new life, the relentless heat and deadly dryness is broken, new life can arise.