Timeless Loving

Time is perceived very subjectively. Sometimes we can forget time and during loving time gets stretched.

I am sitting at the shore and watch the sea making love to the rocks. Eternal moving and caressing. It never stops. Imagine the rock could feel touch, like we feel with our skin and body.

Each contact with a wave is new and different from the previous one.

The sea is rolling in and the rock is waiting in anticipation. How will she touch me this time.

He is fully anticipating the moment of meeting, feeling the rise of energy just before the impact.

Hardness is born out of the breaking waters. The wave crashes the stone into existence. 

The flowing foam caresses and sculpts at the same time.

Creation is orgasmic joy; an eternal splashing formation out of a billion possibilities.

I am sitting between the rocks and notice this loving.

In my mind I perceive moments and eons of sea and rocks born into reality.

Without reference to observe time, loving will be endlessly slow and orgasmic exploding in eternal unison.

The Edge Man

Sitting high at the corner of the ledge watching sunrise and moon set.

I am the Edge Man feeling:

The man and the woman inside of me, with the watery moon setting in the West

and the blinding bright sun rising in the East.

Today I like to be loved slow like being a woman seduced and tomorrow I let the wild animal out.

I am:

King and Subject

Bushman and scientist

Native and colonist

Lover and Family man

Dreamer and Conservative

Healer and Destroyer

Spiritual and lazy bum

I am the performer walking on a tight rope between balance and falling and I am the audience watching in suspense.

I am brave and shit scared

Life is a dance between holding and letting go, knowing to be held.

I am the Edge Man, loved as I am.

Loving Darkness

This Easter weekend I attended a retreat. Valentina created a dark room with all light blocked out to meditate in darkness.

I was surprised about myself, that I was not scared of darkness and disorientation.

To the contrary, it felt like coming home. I felt a deep relaxation of nothingness.

Even with many other people in the room breathing, the only sensation was inside of me.

In the darkness I met a Lover. Accidentally touching fingers. Becoming aware of the other and that this lover only exists in the sensation received on my skin.

Tiny vibrations making up a body to explore and discover. There is only touch, the sound of breath and scents of the other.

And the Lover exits inside of me. The boundaries become fluent. Am I being discovered or am I discovering?

Sometimes a new person enters the room, or someone is leaving. A tiny bit of light enters the space.

Darkness is so vulnerable. 

We step apart and loosing touch not be seen together.

Must this creation of each other stay in the dark? I experience deep encounter in a fleeting fragile moment.

In the light I am bombarded with images and sensations. Its difficult to distinguish between reality and imagination. In the darkness it becomes clear: Everything is imagination.

Reflections on Easter

Last night I attended a beautiful autumn bliss dance ceremony.

The day was overcast and grey and I carried this mood into the space to share with the small group of dancers. We were feeling the autumn introspective and a deep sadness was welling up.

Memories of my mother and people I love, past and present made me tearful and soft. We gently held each other in deep love.

This morning I reflect on Easter while listening to some Christian chants. I feel into the deep compassion of God with his creatures. As a Tantrika this God is in me and I am like a holographic image and so is everything and everybody around me. We are all a fleeting manifestation of the vibrations of life.

Overflowing with compassion for life I feel into this day. We had glorious rain wetting the earth with the tears of the sky. This Good Friday with its soft dark mood is the low point of suffering of life.

The rain brings new life. In the northern hemisphere Easter after Good Friday is a festival of resurrection and new life in spring.

Here the rain brings new life, the relentless heat and deadly dryness is broken, new life can arise.